The next morning, I woke up before sunrise, the air is crisp, it is so quiet, the stars are still shining, and the moon is thick. I walked my way through the village belonging to the Naxi people for over 1000years. The houses are made of stone and wood. The sky becomes lighter, and I can start to see her. I walk further to a larger area with a lake, the landscape is breathtaking. To my surprise, there are no people here; it’s so quiet that I can drop a needle. The sun is on its way up, and before the sun comes up from the other side, the top of her lights up. I am lost for words on how breathtaking she is.
Yes, it is she, I can’t help but feel this enormous feminine energy coming to me. It dawned upon me that she is the protector, she has been the mother for millions of years, she has witnessed an eternity. She has always been there; she has nurtured and given life to so much. She is sharp, she is deep, she is full of layers, she is drop-dead gorgeous.
I spent four days with her, talking to her, walking with her, walking inside of her; she is my higher self, talking through me. I spent four days celebrating and forgiving parts of myself that I haven’t been ready to forgive until now. I spent time honouring my life, I was walking with my inner child, a younger version of myself, myself and “mother (her the mountain), I let space in for a new chapter of my life to unfold.
You obviously don’t have to travel day and night to go somewhere, but if you are drawn to a place, I can highly recommend doing that, because there’s probably a reason why. However, I think the most spiritual thing we can do is to take a walk in nature, so maybe you just wanna set up a small little retreat for yourself not far from where you live.
HOW TO CREATE A RETREAT FOR ONE
My upbringing could have been smoother sailing, let me tell you that, but it turned me into who I am today. I think because of that, I have this underlying drive, this underlying curiosity for life. To put it short, I feel I was 13 the first time I saw "The Secret". I couldn’t believe I could wish for Aladdin's lamp. I dreamt of a life far away, a life where I was in charge, a life full, full of life. I knew there would be a point where looking out of the small rectangular window, full of damp, full of mould, would look different. I had a small peak of the stars, “please take me far, far away”.
Fast forward 20 years: I walk with my rolling suitcase with one year of Mandarin lessons vaguely in my head (I am actually surprised how little I managed to learn, haha!!!), gliding to a double-decker train. I am in Dali in China, on my way to a cute cabin on a train that will take four and a half hours before arriving in Lijiang. I have no explanation why I am here other than I gotta see this mountain, the Jade Dragon Snow Mountain or Yulong Xueshan in Lijiang. I booked myself into a homestay in Yuhu Village, an ancient town located at the foot of the mountain, 2800m above sea level.
Here is how I would do it
WHERE: Find somewhere you wanna be, somewhere that feels safe, can you be surrounded by nature? Is this something you are doing for the day, or do you wanna do it over several days?
WHY: Ask yourself why are you doing this? What version of yourself are you meeting? Is this a new beginning? Is it a celebration of a part of you? Are you bringing in something new? I mean you don't have to be 100% certain of this, but have a general idea of why you are doing this. What is your red thread?
STRUCTURE: Do you wanna dedicate a different day for different themes, like: day 1: celebrating the past , day 2: Letting go, day 3: bringing in something new
Maybe you just wanna have a day retreat: you can start with a meditation, bring some cacao, have a ceremony for yourself, do some journaling - go into free movement, pull some tarot cards, shake your body, come to stillness and meditation , do some journaling and then integrate.
BRING: A journal and pen, something to sit on, maybe a candle, something warm to drink? Write your heart out, write what you think of there and then, let the writing unfold, let the hand just move. It's often here that a lot of ideas, learnings, lessons and downloads will come. Don’t think of what you are writing, just write, and let your intuition move you trough the day(s)
THE MOST IMPORTANT STEP (IMHO)
The integration: days or day, I can’t stress the importance of spending some time landing again, integrating back “into” this world. I’ve been to different training and retreats, and there has been times where I haven’t spent enough time to let myself integrate, the space in between, coming back, it can be so brutal to “come back”. Give yourself space and compassion, if you are not on your own, maybe tell the people you live with that you need some time to come back. One thing is the ceremonies , retreats and training, another thing is what unfolds after, this time is so precious.
I am still integrating even though I came home weeks ago.